009: Coming Back to Now – Because It’s the Only Place We Can Ever Be.


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Grounding ourselves in the present moment shifts our focus away from thoughts of  ‘not good enoughness’ and brings us back to just being as we are.

Bringing myself back to the present moment has been the number one most helpful thing in just being myself and not feeling like I should be any other way than I am.

When I first heard about coming back to the moment, I didn’t understand what it was and how to get there. Where is this ‘present moment’ you speak of? What does it feel like? What’s it going to be like when I do get there?

In this episode I share some of my experiences with the present moment and how it has dramatically reduced the power of the self-critical thoughts and feelings which were running rampant in my mind and body.

I go into the techniques which have been the most effective for coming back into the moment, and take a look at some of the common doubts and difficulties which can show up as you explore the present moment more and more.

Show Highlights and Takeaways

  • What Is the Present Moment?
    • The present moment is our direct, felt experience of the world.
    • Whatever you are thinking and feeling is also part of the present moment. This includes negative thoughts and feelings as well as the positive ones.
    • The present moment is always here. It can’t ever be somewhere else.
  • Things Which Take Us out of the Moment
    • Dwelling in memories and thoughts about the pastwhat happened before.
    • Thinking about what could happen in the futurewhat might happen, what should happen, what shouldn’t happen.
    • You can always take action, you don’t need to sit there like a “now-zombie” and just accepting everything as it is. If something is unpleasant – take the action which you feel is necessary to support your well-being.
  • Techniques for Coming Back to Now
    • Simply becoming aware that you’re not grounded in the moment is enough to bring your awareness back to the present moment.
    • Become aware of what is actually going on around you. What is actually happening? What can you see, touch, taste, hear and smell? (Tune into these one at a time, not all at once because you might explode.)
    • Tuning into the sounds in your immediate environment can provide a solid grounding in the moment. You can even select specific sounds to focus on to make it easier.
    • Look at your hands. How do they feel? Open and close them. Find something to touch, something with texture – run your hand along it and really be aware of all the sensations you feel.
    • Focusing on your breath. Tuning into the rhythm of your breath. Not trying to breathe faster or slower, simply observing the breath however it is at this moment.
    • We can always use our senses to ground ourselves in the moment. Which is a pretty great because wherever we go our bodies are right there with us and full of sensations.
    • Coming back into the moment is about letting go and becoming aware of what is already there.
    • As you explore the present moment you’ll find your own sense of how it feels and be able to ground yourself more and more easily overtime.
  • Common Doubts, Fears and Difficulties
    • What if I don’t know what’s going on around me? What if someone’s trying to break in, or trying to hurt me and I just don’t realise because I’m completely in the moment? – Being in the present moment doesn’t mean you just sit back and watch the world go by. In fact being in the moment allows us to be more aware of what’s going on around us and see clearly which is the next step we need to take.
    • Trying to get to the present moment can keep you out of the moment. There’s nothing we have to do or get to be in the present moment – it’s always there and requires no effort to return to.
    • Because being in the moment is so simple it’s easy to over try and not be fully present.
  • Changes to Expect over Time
    • By continuing to ground yourself in the present moment, over time your negative thoughts and feelings become weaker and weaker.
    • Negative and fearful thoughts need your attention (your energy, your awareness, your focus) to stay alive. If you remove your attention from them the only thing they can do is die.
    • If you keep putting wood (your energy) on a fire (negative thoughts and feelings) it will keep burning. If you stop putting wood on the fire it will eventually go out.

What Would You like to Hear About Next?

If you have a burning topic related to authentic self-expression that you’d like me to talk about, just shoot me an email on the Contact page. I’d love to hear from you.

The Podcast

The B is for Being Podcast is a collection of conversations with friends, psychologists, and thought-leaders on the most effective tools for uncovering authentic expression and navigating the obstacles we may encounter on the way to discovering ourselves.

About Benjamin

Hi, I’m Benjamin. I podcast and blog about authentic expression and self-discovery. I also make slow-videos for rest and reflection. You can read more about me here.

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