Being accepted or rejected isn’t actually connected to our sense of worth at all.
Applying for jobs has never been an enjoyable task for me. I spent almost 20hrs on a job application this week with 4 hours spent on just the cover letter alone.
I was overworking every aspect of the application because I knew that if it was rejected I would feel that I should have been better in some way, that the rejection was a reflection of me not trying hard enough and that I was inadequate.
But me receiving a rejection is not connected to my feelings of worth at all… Unless I feel it is.
I know I’m not alone on this.
The good news is we don’t have to feel inadequate at all.
Rejection is not a sign of inadequacy but simply another person’s interpretation of the small part of us we’ve presented to them.
In this episode, I uncover the reason why we feel inadequate following a rejection and how we can change our default reaction of inadequacy into, I’m good enough no matter what happens.
Click a time marker to jump to that section of the podcast.
- I really did not want to put myself in a position where I could be accepted or rejected. 2:30
- I reminded myself that I am good enough no matter what the outcome is. 4:33
- I make myself feel not good enough based on my beliefs of what that rejection means to me. 5:50
- It’s easy to see the decisions made by an authority figure as more accurate than your own understanding of yourself. 10:11
- I wanted to know why I feel lower and less than when I feel rejected. How did this start? 11:44
If we only receive praise for our achievements, it’s easy to think when we aren’t achieving we aren’t worthy of praise or acknowledgement. 13:42
- “If I praise my kids for doing nothing then they won’t feel like doing anything.” 14:50
- We adapt ourselves in any way that’s required to receive love because we know that we need love to survive. 16:26
- How do I rebalance my own achievement bias? 17:55
- I’m curating a guide of the most powerful reminders for relieving anxiety, overwhelm and nonstop thinking. 21:27