017: Self-Liberation and the Search for a ‘Whole Relationship’


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Breaking through social conditions

Amendment notice: This interview has been amended for the purposes of anonymity.

I spoke with a member of The Liberators at this year’s Blazing Swan.

The Liberators International is an organisation which creates flash mob events around the world to remind people of our shared human connection and the ability we all have to express ourselves authentically.

Initially we were talking about the things we’d like to let go of (episode 016), but the conversation naturally opened to include much more than that.

In this episode he shares his journey of self-liberation and how he’s moved through some of his strongest insecurities around body image and dancing in public, and realised his fears were nothing more than social conditions which he had accepted as the definite way to behave.

We also talk about forming ‘whole-relationships’ where neither individual is needed by the other to feel complete, but instead both people support each other’s growth and development while staying true to their own needs and personal interests.

Show Highlights and Takeaways


  • 04:44 Liberator: One-by-one I always challenged myself to go through the next boundary and liberate myself from it. You realise that all of this [the boundaries] is just a social condition that exits among people. It’s something that can easily dissipate once your brain realises that these are just artificial conditions that exist in society rather than something that is inherently wrong or right, good or bad.
  • Being in a space where you feel safe and supported helps tremendously in exploring the space outside your boundaries.

The Search for a ‘Whole Relationship’

  • 14:37 Liberator: The space that I’d like to be in is a relationship where both very whole people, who are quite satisfied with their lives and individually dependent, are not in need for another person to fill in any gaps. From what I’ve observed, people who require another person to make them whole, these relationships seems to end easily and cause a lot of pain. The people who are more whole [self-dependent] seem to be in a relationship for longer.
  • 16:17 Benjamin: I imagine it as two trees growing. If one tree is leaning on the other tree, that tree can’t grow straight and tall because it’s supporting the weight of the other tree. But when both trees grow individually they can grow the tallest and strongest.
  • 17:06 Liberator: Yeah, trees can grow together and feed each other, go on a journey together, and foster each other’s growth rather than impeding or taking it from each other.
  • It’s possible to be completely content with good friends and a happy family life and not feel the need for a relationship.

The Podcast

The B is for Being Podcast is a collection of conversations with friends, psychologists, and thought-leaders on the most effective tools for uncovering authentic expression and navigating the obstacles we may encounter on the way to discovering ourselves.

About Benjamin

Hi, I’m Benjamin. I podcast and blog about authentic expression and self-discovery. I also make slow-videos for rest and reflection. You can read more about me here.

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