My morning routine usually starts with me waking up at 6 am and sitting on the couch with a cup of tea.
I’m often hit by the feeling that I need to start doing stuff as soon as I wake up. There is a sense of anxiety behind this feeling. It feels like if I don’t get stuff done then something bad will happen. It’s very unpleasant.
This morning I decided I would give myself some time to just sit and do nothing and be present with myself and my surroundings.
While I was sitting on the couch half awake, I noticed there were moments when I felt relaxed and present and other moments when I felt less relaxed and was disconnected from my current experience.
I realised that when I felt relaxed and present, most of my awareness resided in my body, specifically in my heart area. And when I felt disconnected, my attention was mostly immersed in a constant stream of thoughts.
When I realised this, I consciously directed my attention back to my heart area and noticed the sense of presence and connection within myself return. While in this state, I felt like I was engaged in an active state of listening. Listening simultaneously to my feelings and the moment in front of me.
This was a very subtle experience.
It was interesting to notice that my attention would automatically drift to my thoughts and mental activity if I wasn’t consciously focusing on my heart area.
While sitting there on the couch, it occurred to me that I could consciously direct my attention to my heart area at any moment if I desired to listen to the world with more presence.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with interacting with the world from my mind, but it’s nice experiencing the world from a different seat in the house when I’ve grown frazzled from my usual seat of immersion in the continuous thought stream.
That’s all from me. I’m going to try sharing more of these short-form posts as I often struggle finishing longer articles. My inner-critic usually jumps in and talks me out of the sharing process.