Benjamin

50 Why Do I Feel Worthless When I'm Told I Need to Improve

050: Why Do I Feel Worthless When I’m Told I Need to Improve?

I had my first performance review at work this week.

After receiving feedback that I needed to improve in certain areas, I felt my self-worth drop. However, my supervisors weren’t unhappy with me nor had they delivered an ultimatum that I either improve or lose my job.

I left work with a big question:
Why does our competency in certain areas of life dictate our level of self-worth?

In this episode, I take a walk through the city and break down what was behind my feelings of worthlessness. I also share my thoughts on how particular parenting styles serve to connect a child’s actions with their sense of worth, and how this connection can be broken by practicing self-acceptance.

)49: Why Do I Stop Sharing Authentically with You

049: Why Do I Stop Sharing Myself Authentically with You?

You might have realised by now, expressing myself authentically is pretty important.

I’ve written about it many times on the site, yet I find myself drifting back into not speaking and writing from my current level of knowledge and understanding. I change how I write and speak to sound like I know more than you about the topics I share.

In this episode, I explore the reasons why I stop sharing myself authentically with you, and how my inauthenticity always guides me back to being myself.

048 Why Am I So Critical of Others?

048: Why Am I So Critical of Others?

I went to a workshop about overcoming fear.

While I was there, I became highly critical and judgemental of a particular person who was sitting calmly, meditating, and sharing helpful techniques on how to overcome fear.

What?!

Why was I being so critical of a person who wasn’t doing anything to annoy me or make me feel uncomfortable?

This episode is a live exploration of the feelings which came up during the workshop, and an attempt to explore the deeper roots of my critical judgements.

047-6-Way-to-Be-A-Friend-to-Yourself

047: 6 Ways to Be a Friend to Yourself

I remember when I started to do friendly things for myself consciously it felt a bit awkward. But when I began experiencing some big positive changes I knew I was doing something very right.

The most significant change (which I didn’t see coming) was being able to express myself more freely around other people. Instead of overthinking how to say what I wanted to say, I would just say it.

I realised later this was happening because I wasn’t as concerned about other people’s thoughts and ideas because I was providing myself with the validation and support that I needed when I needed it.

Over the years I’ve continued exploring the different ways of being a self-friend, and in this episode, I share some of the most effective ways I’ve discovered for developing this friendship and the situations in which they can be used.

I’ve also included some of the small yet powerful internal actions which I often overlooked when I first started this self-friendly exploration.

046: What is Authenticity

046: What is Authenticity?

I run a website about authenticity, so I should know what authenticity is, right?

Well, I forgot.

I had that feeling when you say a word out loud over and over again and you stop understanding the word’s meaning and begin to only hear the word’s sounds.

I used this episode to put everything out on the table and remind myself of what authenticity is (and also what authenticity is not.)

In this episode, I answer three big questions:

  • What defines authentic self-expression?
  • How do we know when we’re acting authentically?
  • How do we uncover our own authenticity and bring more of it into our creativity and relationships?
045: Exploring Procrastination

045: A Live Exploration of Procrastination

I’m about to start a new job and have decided to take a month off podcasting.

I’m doing this so I can adjust to the new time and energy requirements of the job without placing additional stress on myself to create a podcast every week.

So, I’m preparing four podcasts in advance so I can ensure there is always a new episode for you on Sunday no matter how crazy life becomes.

I thought this was a brilliant idea, but my old friend procrastination began to telling me otherwise. I was completely blocked from producing these episodes.

In this episode, I explore the cause of my procrastination and share some relieving perspective shifts which have helped me work through it and free me to do what I need to do.

Safe Spaces for Your Creativity to Flow

044: Safe Spaces for Your Creativity to Flow – A Talk with Marc Thomas King

Marc Thomas King is a family friend and actor living in Los Angeles.

Every time I visit my American family on the East Coast I stop over in L.A., and we’ve had some great chats over the years.

During my latest visit, he played an audio recording for me on his phone. It was a spontaneous free flow session where he allowed himself to express whatever he felt like at that moment.

We keep in touch via Whatsapp, and I receive regular ‘audio sketches’ from Marc every week. They become more elaborate and entertaining as he continues to allow himself to express freely without filtering his creative impulses.

I was intrigued by the raw creativity that was running through every sketch and wanted to know how Marc creates a safe space for himself to just express himself without being shut down by self-censoring or criticism.

This is an extensive talk about creativity, the things which make it flow and connecting authentically in our interactions with others.

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