Remembering what makes me, me.

I lost myself a bit this week. Actually the past few weeks I’ve been trying to become really clear on the value I’m offering with B is for Being and look at how I can provide you with more valuable takeaways with every episode.

I began to look at how other successful bloggers and podcasters were sharing with their sizeable audiences. I thought, ‘they are definitely doing something right if they have so many people listening. I just need to do what they’re doing and I’ll have a bigger audience too.

They had catchy titles and spoke with reassuring authority. Great, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll write catchy titles and speak with more authority.

With this new perspective I begun to explore possible topics for this week’s episode, and as I started writing from this new perspective I noticed a sense of dis-ease and tension building. Something didn’t feel right.

I’d forgotten something really important.

The essence of why I was sharing.

I stopped trusting I am enough. I was doubting that how I was sharing contained any real value for you.

In this episode I share my process of rediscovering my authentic voice and how a single YouTube video reminded me of the essence of why I’m doing what I’m doing.

Highlights and Takeaways

  • When things are feeling hard it usually means it’s time for a break to take a look at what’s going on.
  • It’s easy to think we should be doing something differently to how we are. To think, ‘surely what I’m doing right now could be better in some way.’
  • We can lose touch with ourselves, our authenticity, when we look for ways in which we should be differently to how we are.
  • There is no one who can express themselves more uniquely than you.
  • There is no other you and there is no other me.
  • It’s more than enough to share yourself as you are; complete with your current skill levels, the ways you express yourself and the ways you don’t.

Show Notes

  • Ben: As I mentioned in Episode 025 I’ve been trying to get a clear understanding of what I’m doing with B is for Being and deliver a message every week that has value to you, something you can takeaway and use in your own life.
  • I started looking around at other (successful) podcasts I listen to, and I was thinking, “yeah, I really want to help a lot of people. I want a lot of people to listen to my podcast so I’m going to do what they’re doing.” I started looking at what they were doing; how they were speaking and the titles of their episodes, and I thought, “ah ok! I need catchy titles, I need to be solving people’s problems.” This is what they are all saying – if you want an audience you need to solve people’s problems. And I agree with that, but I didn’t feel like I was helping anyone with the way I was sharing already.
  • So I started writing down some titles for future episodes, like “How to stop procrastinating forever with this one easy tip.” the whole time I was doing this I began to feel some pressure building, like some kind of friction. Things were starting feel harder and harder and my level of exhaustion was rising and rising.
  • When I’ve felt that before it usually means I need to take a break and have a look at what’s not working. At the time I just thought I didn’t have a lot of clarity on exactly the areas I wanted to share on. So I was looking for this tagline to describe what I do. But I was looking for this tagline in the language and voice of the other websites and podcasts I follow.

Rediscovering My Essence

  • I kept overlooking what I’d already done. The episodes I’d already recorded and the voice I was using already in those episodes. More so, I’d forgotten the essence behind why I started B is for Being; and that was my complete intrigue in this authentic flow of people just expressing themselves naturally as themselves. I’m just fixated by the dynamic, ever changing, alive energy – the way they express themselves, the way they phrase themselves, the way they move. There’s just a flow to it.
  • I realised that’s why I started this, and I also wanted to share what I’d already learned about expressing myself more authentically and uncovering my authentic flow. That really is the essence of B is for Being.
  • When I remembered that that was the essence I got excited again.
  • I thought back to the early episodes of this podcast – Episodes 002 (Anika), 003 (Elly) and 004 (Ira), and also Episode 008 where I interview Simon – these were interviews with people I found intriguing because of the authentic expression of their energy.
  • When I rediscovered that I felt this energy come back to be, this excitement and this curiosity, remembering why I’d started this in the first place.

JP Sears Reminded Me That I Get Excited About Authentic Flow

  • I started writing a list of names down of all the people I follow online who have this authentic energy. One of the name’s on that list was JP Sears. If you don’t know who JP is, he’s a coach/counselor who is sharing nuggets of wisdom on YouTube. He makes a combination of satirical videos and very sincere videos with a very heartfelt message. Even in his satirical videos he’s getting people to bring their awareness to different parts of the spiritual and the self-development journey, reminding people that there are points where we can get stuck or get so self-involved with ourselves and the mindsets of healing that we can actually get in our way and actually slow down our progress.
  • So when I remembered I found JP inspiring I went over to his YouTube channel and clicked on the first video that caught my eye. This video just happened to be called, How to Be Yourself When You Don’t Know Who You Are. The video itself is excellent and contains a fantastic message. Obviously he’d prepared some notes beforehand but he certainly wasn’t reading from any notes, and his natural speaking voice was coming through and the way he presented things just flowed, from one topic to the next.
  • There were things that were happening during the video, there were a lot of insects around (biting him) and he just incorporated that into what he was sharing. This was all part of his flow in that moment.
  • It’s a single camera shot. So there’s no cutaways or fancy montages, there’s no music in the background – it’s just a medium shot of JP just sitting there outside and talking straight into the camera. And I realised halfway through that I was just fixated – this flow had grabbed me again.
  • It reminded me of what I value in expressing myself. It’s those moments of flow that are so rewarding and so effortless when there’s less fear there. That just reminded me of why I’d started this journey in the first place and the fact that I’m using this podcast as another mode of expressing myself.
  • When I remembered that, I was like, “ohhh! This isn’t about hooking people in, this isn’t about getting more subscribers or more listeners. This is about me just being real. This is about me being authentic and sharing my journey along the way.” That’s all I’m doing here and JP’s video really helped me remember that.

If I Could Share Anything With You This Would Be It

There is no other person who can express themselves as uniquely as yourself. There is no other you, there is no other me.

  • It’s a gift to uncover and unlock and share that expression with other people. And that’s what I reminded myself of this week, that’s what I remembered.
  • I’m really grateful of that because it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel more aligned with what I’m sharing and just being me. Trusting that that is enough for you to be interested. That it’s enough to be sharing my own journey – my struggles and successes, and that that is providing value to you, that you will find that interesting. And if you’re not (finding it interesting) I hope you’ll let me know so I can think about what I’m sharing.
  • At the core I have to remain true and authentic to where I’m at right now in my current level of progress in speaking, in expressing myself in formulating ideas and phrases. Every little thing and mode of expression including all the mess-ups and pauses of insecurity and fears. Just accepting all of that because that is where I am right now and that is authentically me.

    If I’m running a podcast all about living authentically and I’m not living authentically myself, I think that’s going to cause a little bit of confusion.

  • So I’m glad I realised that. It probably wasn’t so apparent in the last few episodes of me going through this little dilemma but I feel much more aligned with what’s going on right now and the content I can share.
  • I’m just coming back to sharing from me, and not having to put on this fancy teacher voice in order to sound more official or more authoritative on certain subject matters.
  • I’m just sharing my experience and I trust that that is enough.

Mentioned in This Episode