047: 6 Ways to Be a Friend to Yourself

I remember when I started to do friendly things for myself consciously it felt a bit awkward. But when I began experiencing some big positive changes I knew I was doing something very right.

The most significant change (which I didn’t see coming) was being able to express myself more freely around other people. Instead of overthinking how to say what I wanted to say, I would just say it.

I realised later this was happening because I wasn’t as concerned about other people’s thoughts and ideas because I was providing myself with the validation and support that I needed when I needed it.

Over the years I’ve continued exploring the different ways of being a self-friend, and in this episode, I share some of the most effective ways I’ve discovered for developing this friendship and the situations in which they can be used.

I’ve also included some of the small yet powerful internal actions which I often overlooked when I first started this self-friendly exploration.

046: What is Authenticity

046: What is Authenticity?

I run a website about authenticity, so I should know what authenticity is, right?

Well, I forgot.

I had that feeling when you say a word out loud over and over again and you stop understanding the word’s meaning and begin to only hear the word’s sounds.

I used this episode to put everything out on the table and remind myself of what authenticity is (and also what authenticity is not.)

In this episode, I answer three big questions:

  • What defines authentic self-expression?
  • How do we know when we’re acting authentically?
  • How do we uncover our own authenticity and bring more of it into our creativity and relationships?
045: Exploring Procrastination

045: A Live Exploration of Procrastination

I’m about to start a new job and have decided to take a month off podcasting.

I’m doing this so I can adjust to the new time and energy requirements of the job without placing additional stress on myself to create a podcast every week.

So, I’m preparing four podcasts in advance so I can ensure there is always a new episode for you on Sunday no matter how crazy life becomes.

I thought this was a brilliant idea, but my old friend procrastination began to telling me otherwise. I was completely blocked from producing these episodes.

In this episode, I explore the cause of my procrastination and share some relieving perspective shifts which have helped me work through it and free me to do what I need to do.

Safe Spaces for Your Creativity to Flow

044: Safe Spaces for Your Creativity to Flow – A Talk with Marc Thomas King

Marc Thomas King is a family friend and actor living in Los Angeles.

Every time I visit my American family on the East Coast I stop over in L.A., and we’ve had some great chats over the years.

During my latest visit, he played an audio recording for me on his phone. It was a spontaneous free flow session where he allowed himself to express whatever he felt like at that moment.

We keep in touch via Whatsapp, and I receive regular ‘audio sketches’ from Marc every week. They become more elaborate and entertaining as he continues to allow himself to express freely without filtering his creative impulses.

I was intrigued by the raw creativity that was running through every sketch and wanted to know how Marc creates a safe space for himself to just express himself without being shut down by self-censoring or criticism.

This is an extensive talk about creativity, the things which make it flow and connecting authentically in our interactions with others.

043: What’s Stopping Us From Being Us? – A Talk with Joe Douglas

I first heard about Joe from my housemate, Michael. He told me that Joe ran weekend workshops for healing trauma and helping people form a relationship with their emotions.

I was curious and checked out Joe’s site. I went straight to the video section and began watching a video of Joe explaining the different types of anger. The content was fascinating, but the way he was speaking fascinated me even more.

He was relaxed and spoke as if he were talking with a good friend. It didn’t feel like he was trying to sell me anything or talk me into his point of view. He was simply sharing what he knew about anger.

I clicked on the ‘About’ section of his site and read, “[…] My approach is dedicated to equipping you with the awareness and the tools you need to remove the obstacles that are preventing you from being the person you wish to be.After reading that, I knew I needed to have a talk with Joe.

In this episode, we go to the heart of what’s stopping us from being us.

A useful talk if you want to know what’s stopping you from being yourself, or you’re thinking about embarking on some of your own self-development work.

Joe Douglas is a psychotherapist who helps people take responsibility for their lives and runs regular weekend workshops for people to understand and remove their emotional blocks so they can live a full and happy life as themselves.

042: Dealing with Anxiety - Neil Hughes

042: Dealing with Anxiety – A Talk with Neil Hughes

Constant worry and fear about the possibility of something terrible happening make it really difficult to take action on the things which matter to us.

I’ve suffered from anxiety and many of my friends and family have as well, but what actually is it? Where does it come from? How can we find effective relief from it?

I needed some answers.

It just so happens, Neil Hughes knows a lot about anxiety. He’s the author of Walking On Custard: A Guide for Anxious Humans and regularly shares his experiences of managing anxiety on his blog, and more recently, his entertaining TED Talk: A New Plan for Anxious Feelings: Escape the Custard!

Neil used to think of himself as a worrier but it wasn’t until his late-twenties he realised he was dealing with anxiety.

In this talk, Neil shares how anxiety is different from genuine fear, why self-awareness is key to relieving anxiety, and the importance of talking with others and asking for help.

041: Navigating the Waters of Self-Love – A Talk with Caira Lee (Caira Lee Self-Love)

041: Navigating the Waters of Self-Love – A Talk with Caira Lee

I’m really proud of this interview.

Yes, it’s packed with practical tools and inspiration for tackling deep self-doubt, but that’s not why I’m proud of it.

After watching Caira’s TEDx talk on the power of self-love, I felt compelled to contact her and invite her for a talk.

There was only one problem.

I highly doubted that she’d want to talk with me.

My podcast isn’t professional enough, I thought. It needs to be more exciting and better produced for her to be interested. With a TED talk like that, her life must be overflowing with interviews and speaking gigs. Why would she want to talk with me?

But there was something in me, telling me to write to her anyway.

So I began writing the email and felt really daring for doing so. It took me over 2 hours to write that thing; checking it and rewording it and checking it again.

But then I asked myself, what’s the worst that could happen? What’s the worst thing that will happen if I send this email to her?

She probably won’t reply.
Well, if that’s the worst that can happen I’m sending this email!

Then, with a sense of brazenness, I hovered over the ’SEND’ button. I could still feel a lingering sense of doubt inside me but I just clicked the button. The email was sent and I gave myself a giant high-five.

As it turned out, Caira replied the very next day and said she’d love to have a talk. I remember not being able to control the muscles in my face as they formed, what felt like, a permanent smile.

Caira Lee is a national award winning performance poet and author, originally from Maryland, USA, now living in Ghana, Africa.

She has worked her way through deep depression and anxiety and has a strong understanding of what it means to love yourself.

You don’t want to miss this episode.

Join us as we share the strongest fears and doubts that have prevented us from taking compassionate action for ourselves, and the things we did to come through them.

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