2017 Year in Review

2017 Year in Review

Wrapping up the year with a delicious reflection session.

It’s been a year of realisation, healing and going to work.

At the beginning of the year, I landed a stable office job with a great team of people. Very quickly, I was confronted by my unbalanced work ethic and was left trying to balance the remainder of my time between the podcast, Júlia, friends, family, exercise, and self-time. It was difficult.

But I was grateful for this situation because I became highly aware of some of the dysfunctional beliefs I hold around work, and why work takes priority over most other areas of my life.

The troublesome belief I became aware of was:

My value as a person is determined by the outcome of the work I produce. If people approve of my work, then I feel good, well and worthy. If they feel it’s lacking or needs improvement, then I feel worthless (worth-less) and need to work even harder to make up for the self-worth deficit I’ve just created.

This is a very intense belief. However, there is something I found helpful when I was deep in moments of being my own worst boss.

Every time I felt the pressure to work harder, I would look around the office and become aware of everyone else working around me. While I did this, I recalled the times they had shown their work to others and received feedback on things they needed to improve. From this, I realised that not everyone puts the same amount of pressure on themselves as I do, and they seem perfectly ok, maybe even a little happier…

I realised my workmates weren’t working for their worth. They were just working. They knew they were valuable even if their work falls flat and they have to do it all again.

Of course, not everyone in the office had this worked out. I found it quite sobering when I saw others putting pressure on themselves to produce good work or work harder.

I got to see this belief from the outside and realised it only serves to add extra pressure to perform which makes it even harder to work efficiently because suddenly my self-value is riding on the quality of my work.

Anyway, enough of this intro. Let’s get to this post! Continue reading

053 Pausing the Podcast + Upcoming Video Series

053: Pausing the Podcast + The Courage to Create (new video series)

Sorry for keeping you hanging.

I’ve been on an extended break from the podcast after burning myself out.

I realised I was forcing myself to produce episode after episode from a place of fear instead of a genuine desire to create.

I forced myself to keep producing episodes because I thought if I stopped, you might lose interest in what I’m doing and never come back. Sounds familiar, right?

So in this episode, I explain what kept me in this fear as well as the new agreement I’ve made with myself to stop creating if I’m not having fun or being kind to myself.

Also, did somebody say ‘new video series?’ Yes, yes they did! Tune-in to learn about the new series where I will be exploring the courage to express my creativity openly.

(Note: Apologies for the clicking sound in this episode. I recorded this with my earbuds and the microphone was tapping against the zip of my jacket every time I moved :/) Continue reading

052_The-Most-Effective-Technique-for-Relieving-Anxiety

052: The Most Effective Technique for Relieving Anxiety

Anxiety, meet the present moment.

I’ve struggled with anxiety for the greater part of my life.

It wasn’t until I went through a particularly anxious period that I went on a search to find an ‘off’ button for my incessant anxious thinking.

I discovered that by bringing my attention to the present moment the intensity of my anxiety began to lessen. Over time, by continuing to practice present moment awareness, I’ve experienced such a significant reduction in my anxious thinking that I often forget how much I was suffering previously.

In this episode, I share how we can use the present moment to diminish the power of our anxiety and begin experiencing effective relief from our worrisome thoughts.

Disclaimer: The technique outlined in this episode assumes that a low, to moderate level of anxiety is present. Practicing this technique may become difficult when experiencing high levels of anxiety. Continue reading

051 Why I Started Keeping A Compliments Journal

051: Why I Started Keeping a Compliments Journal

A short episode outlining the benefits of recording the compliments we receive.

After realising how much negative self-talk I was doing, I went searching for some ways to bring more positivity back into the picture.

I didn’t expect that writing down the compliments I received would have such a great effect on my self-worth and provide me with a source of support during times of intense self-doubt.

In this episode, I let you know why I started keeping a compliments journal and how it’s allowed me to receive the nice things people say about me, while simultaneously reducing my bias towards self-negativity.
Continue reading

Sharing the Journey of Authentic Self-Expression

Our natural state of being is authentic and powerful. Self-awareness and acceptance of our limiting beliefs are what bring us back to this state of being.

Hi, I’m Ben. B is for Being is the place where I take a candid look at my limiting beliefs and share the practical tools and techniques that are helping me uncover my natural
state of being.

There are two main areas to the site:

  • Podcast – Talks with thought-leaders, teachers and psychologists about authentic self-expression and ways to navigate limiting beliefs.
  • Blog – Articles and journal entries breaking down specific tools for self-awareness and acceptance (it’s like the Podcast but written down).
50 Why Do I Feel Worthless When I'm Told I Need to Improve

050: Why Do I Feel Worthless When I’m Told I Need to Improve?

A performance review that didn’t go as expected.

I had my first performance review at work this week.

After receiving feedback that I needed to improve in certain areas, I felt my self-worth drop. However, my supervisors weren’t unhappy with me nor had they delivered an ultimatum that I either improve or lose my job.

I left work with a big question:
Why does our competency in certain areas of life dictate our level of self-worth?

In this episode, I take a walk through the city and break down what was behind my feelings of worthlessness. I also share my thoughts on how particular parenting styles serve to connect a child’s actions with their sense of worth, and how this connection can be broken by practicing self-acceptance.
Continue reading

)49: Why Do I Stop Sharing Authentically with You

049: Why Do I Stop Sharing Myself Authentically with You?

I know I do it, but why?

You might have realised by now, expressing myself authentically is pretty important.

I’ve written about it many times on the site, yet I find myself drifting back into not speaking and writing from my current level of knowledge and understanding. I change how I write and speak to sound like I know more than you about the topics I share.

In this episode, I explore the reasons why I stop sharing myself authentically with you, and how my inauthenticity always guides me back to being myself.
Continue reading