I am not good enough.

013: “I’m Not Good Enough and I Need to Be Better.”

The core belief that’s behind all of our self-negativity.

Beliefs are powerful. They control our interpretations and reactions to ourselves and the world we experience around us, but often we’re unaware of which beliefs are running in the background of our lives.

Most of the time beliefs don’t cause us too much trouble, but in the case of “I’m not good enough and I need to be better,” this belief has the ability to keep us fighting our own natural drive for self-expression and cause us quite a bit of unhappiness in the long run.

In this episode I outline why beliefs are so powerful, where this troublesome belief of “I’m not good enough,” comes from, and how we can use our own emotional reactions as tools for uncovering the beliefs we hold – ultimately empowering us to choose to live in accordance with this core negative belief or not. Continue reading

012: The Energy We Invest = the Experiences We Have

012: The Energy We Invest = the Experiences We Have

What type of energy are you investing?

We shape the experiences of our lives by how we choose to invest our energy. But a lot of the time we aren’t aware of how we’re investing this energy, in ourselves and in other people.

Becoming aware of the dynamic between our actions and the resulting experiences can remind us that we decide how we invest, and ultimately, how we experience ourselves and those around us.

In this episode I share some of my own realisations from past energetic investments, and take a look at the experiences which occurred as a result.

Continue reading

011: How to Live Authentically

011: How to Live Authentically

A simple breakdown of what’s behind authentic self-expression

Without understanding how authentic self-expression works it’s very difficult to know what it is and how to go about practicing it.

A lot of people talk about being yourself, “Yeah, just be authentic! Just be you!” This is great but how do you actually live authentically?

In this episode I break down, plainly and simply, the components that make up authentic expression. I give some examples of what authentic expression looks like and how we can use our fears to uncover our limitless, indwelling authentic flow. Continue reading

What I Learned in the Past Year by Peter Fessel

What I Learned in the Past Year (Guest Post by Peter Fessel)

A Tiny Intro from Benjamin: In the very first guest post on the site, we hear from Peter. Peter and I lived together in Berlin and would often find ourselves at the kitchen table talking about all sorts of things, from the meaning of life to how to bake the most delicious cake.

In this article Peter takes us behind the scenes, sharing some specific points which have changed the way he perceives himself and others, and explains how these changes have resulted in an overall improvement to his well-being.

Hi there, I’m Peter.

In this article I want to share with you a couple of things I learned in the past year about myself and about life. I know that sounds very general, but you will soon understand what I’m talking about.

I’m writing this because I feel that I grew a lot as a person during the past year and wanted to share some of my learnings. Maybe you can benefit from reading this, or maybe you already know all of it. In any case writing this has helped me better understand and reflect on what I’ve learned. Continue reading

2015 - Year in Review

2015: Year in Review

Site Origins, Lessons Learned, and What’s Coming up in 2016

It’s been a tremendous year of learning and self-development for me. And producing content for this site has brought up new challenges of self-expression and authenticity for me to work through.

I’ll be sharing all of it with you as I unravel these challenges and begin to move through them.

But right now I’d like to take a look back at the year that was 2015 and reflect on everything that’s gone down. Continue reading

010: Knowing When to Jump Ship - Making Tough Decisions

010: Knowing When to Jump Ship

 Making the decision to stay at or leave a job, a relationship, or country, can be tough. We take a look at how making tough decisions can be easier.

The decision making process can be used to empower us instead of leaving us feeling confused and stuck, and not having any idea of what we should do.

Peter, Sam, Mike and Benjamin sit around the kitchen table to discuss what goes into making big decisions and some of the ways we can make this process easier for ourselves.

Getting advice from other people can be incredibly helpful when making tough decisions, but learning how to approach this advice can mean the difference between doing what other people think you should do and doing what you want to do.

But sometimes it’s not so easy knowing what it is we want to do, knowing which way we’d like to go, or which decision to make and why. In this episode I share a technique which helps me break down tough situations and make decisions which support my personal growth and sense of well-being. Continue reading

009 Coming Back to Now

009: Coming Back to Now – Because It’s the Only Place We Can Ever Be.

Grounding ourselves in the present moment shifts our focus away from thoughts of  ‘not good enoughness’ and brings us back to just being as we are.

Bringing myself back to the present moment has been the number one most helpful thing in just being myself and not feeling like I should be any other way than I am.

When I first heard about coming back to the moment, I didn’t understand what it was and how to get there. Where is this ‘present moment’ you speak of? What does it feel like? What’s it going to be like when I do get there?

In this episode I share some of my experiences with the present moment and how it has dramatically reduced the power of the self-critical thoughts and feelings which were running rampant in my mind and body.

I go into the techniques which have been the most effective for coming back into the moment, and take a look at some of the common doubts and difficulties which can show up as you explore the present moment more and more.
Continue reading